Closure....

So without wanting to turn this into a lame blog about all my personal feelings and torment, I thought I would tell you guys a little about tonight. So over the summer I fell out with my oldest and dearest friends there was a trigger but basically I went away to university and grew as a person. I became someone different, older and defiantly more mature. I just didn't fit with my old group anymore. There was nothing wrong with what happened, it was just hard to get used to. Without a doubt it led to some of my darkest days so much so that I felt the need to move back to Manchester. However there are still things connecting me to this group. Out of my darkest days, I have seen who my true friends are. One of the girls messaged me to meet up, I went why not. I am glad I did, it was nice to properly put to bed that chapter of my life. I talked to her about how I was made to feel. We both apologised for the things that had happened. Whilst I will always care about the people I used to love, it doesn't change my feelings on that they were not the right friends for me. I am glad I got the opportunity to talk and in the end we had a nice catch up about our lives. Now almost a year on we are completely different group of people, there is no way the damage done can be repaired and I know I don't want it to be. I know in the past year I have become a whole new person, a better one and someone for the first time in my life I can be proud of. I spent my life trying to please people who didn't appreciate the person I was and made me want to change myself. Now the friends I have love me for me and that's all I could ever asked for.

So my advice for everyone who reads this is that if anyone ever feels trapped or like they are pleasing others rather than themselves then you just need to let go. Even if your scared, you never know where life will take you. I needed a push to do this but I have never regretted that it happened and I doubt I ever will. I also think that closure is important, moving on comes easier and the past becomes a happy memory rather than a haunting dream.

So to old friends and new friends, I raise my glass and send out a toast. May the life you want be the life you lead.